Birth and postpartum are life-changing experiences—beautiful, transformative, and sometimes overwhelming. Whether it’s your first baby or not, it’s natural to have questions, worries, and uncertainties. The good news? You’re not alone, and many of these concerns have solutions that can help you feel more prepared and empowered.
Part 1: Common Birth Concerns
1. Will I Know When I’m in Labor?
One of the biggest fears for first-time parents is recognizing the signs of labor. While early labor can be unpredictable, there are key differences between practice contractions and true labor:
True labor contractions grow stronger, longer, and closer together over time.
Braxton Hicks contractions (practice labor) tend to be irregular and go away with hydration or rest.
Additional signs include the loss of the mucus plug, water breaking, and back pain.
By familiarizing yourself with these signs, you can feel more confident about when labor is truly beginning.
2. Will I Be Able to Handle the Pain?
One of the biggest fears about birth is the intensity of contractions. But here’s something that can shift your perspective: contractions are purposeful, not just painful.
Each contraction is your body’s way of guiding your baby down and out. Instead of something to “endure,” they can be seen as waves that build and release, helping you progress toward meeting your baby.
And here’s something reassuring: you will spend more time resting between contractions than actually experiencing them.
In early labor, contractions may last about 30-45 seconds, with 5-10 minutes of rest in between.
In active labor, contractions last 45-60 seconds, with about 3-5 minutes of rest between.
Even in the most intense phase—transition—contractions last 60-90 seconds, but you still get a minute or two of rest before the next one.
That means in a full hour of labor, you’re likely resting more than contracting. The key is to use those breaks to breathe, regroup, and reset.
There are also so many ways to work with contractions rather than against them:
Movement & Positioning – Swaying, walking, dancing, or using a birth ball can help.
Breathwork & Relaxation – Slowing down your breath and keeping your jaw and shoulders loose can reduce tension.
Hydrotherapy – A warm shower, bath, or birth pool can make contractions feel more manageable.
The body knows what to do, and with the right mindset, preparation, and support, you can handle each wave as it comes.
3. What If My Birth Doesn’t Go as Planned?
A birth plan isn’t about controlling every detail of your birth—it’s about knowing your options so you can make informed choices rather than fear-based decisions.
Birth is unpredictable, but that doesn’t mean you have to go in unprepared. A well-thought-out birth plan helps you to understand all possible scenarios and decide ahead of time what feels right for you in each situation.
Instead of just listing preferences, a strong birth plan includes:
✔ Your ideal birth preferences (labor positions, comfort measures, pain relief options, environment).
✔ Your preferences for interventions (induction, assisted delivery, C-section).
✔ Your postpartum wishes (cord clamping, golden hour, feeding choices).
This kind of preparation isn’t about rigidity—it’s about minimizing trauma and regret by ensuring that, no matter how your birth unfolds, you feel confident, informed, and involved in every decision.
4. Will I Tear During Birth?
One of the biggest concerns during birth is perineal tearing, but here’s something reassuring: your body is designed to birth your baby, and how you move during labour and pushing can make a big difference.
Instead of forceful, coached pushing, listening to your body and allowing your baby to descend gradually can help protect your perineum. Your body naturally guides you—your baby applies gentle pressure with each contraction, stretching the tissues slowly rather than all at once.
Birth positions that reduce pressure on the perineum include:
Side-lying – Allows for controlled, gentle stretching.
Hands and knees – Reduces perineal strain and encourages optimal baby positioning.
Upright positions (squatting, kneeling, birth stool) – Uses gravity while still allowing your body to open gradually.
By tuning into your body’s instincts and allowing your baby to move down at their own pace, you work with the process instead of against it—reducing the risk of tearing and creating a smoother, more intuitive birthing experience.
What Comes Next?
Birth is just the beginning of the journey. The moment your baby arrives, a whole new set of questions and challenges emerge—How long will recovery really take? What if I struggle with breastfeeding? Will I feel like myself again?
Postpartum is often overlooked, but it’s just as important as birth itself. In Part 2, we’ll dive into the realities of postpartum recovery, emotional well-being, and what you really need to know to set yourself up for a smoother transition.
Stay tuned—because what happens after birth matters just as much as the birth itself. You won’t want to miss it!